Around This Table

Take the Poll!

Alexis — Tue, 18 May 2010 05:41:17 +0000

Sara and I are starting an awesome new project. Help us out and take this poll!

Operation Cap Removal

jesseputnam — Tue, 11 May 2010 16:36:16 +0000

So there we were. Like so many other mornings I was quietly preparing myself for the storm that awaits and Miette was busily reminding herself what everything tastes like: the couch, books, my toe, etc. She was a little sick and I forgot to check earlier but then I noticed it: the pale green wax-like seal over her left nostril. Snot is a magical substance and I’m sure it would have numerous industrial uses if it were not SOOO DISGUSTING.

So I began to mentally consider my options. I could A) ignore it or B) not ignore it. In the morning the cranks turn a bit more slowly so I didn’t come up with option B for a good 30 seconds. Option A was of course attractive because it means I can stay right where I am and wait for Alexis to wake up and take care of it. But, more importantly it means I don’t have to mount an invasion of that bit of territory that Miette defends like a Secret Service Agent on Presidential detail. She doesn’t seem to have a lot of loyalty to anything or anyone yet, but when it comes to the inch and a half diameter circle of flesh between her nose and chin she is a mother hen, Sitting Bull, and goalkeeper all rolled into one. If you go in for a nose clean or a slobber wipe or, horror, to get the Styrofoam out of her mouth you must be ready for prolonged and ear-splitting battle. She somehow anticipates your thoughts and movements toward this area and defends her turf with every ounce of infantile strength she can muster.

So I waited.

I guess Miette was aware of the problem and devising her own means of solving it. Perhaps we should trust her more to take care of her most precious territory. Her solution was to sneeze. Brilliant really, but scary if you are sitting in front of her, which I was. Last night she sneezed while I was feeding her dinner and I ended up with a variety of warm wet substances all over the parts of me that were in the blast zone: namely everything above my knees. But not all sneezes are created equal and though I was positioned similarly, Miette the aspiring explosives expert managed not to get a single drop on me.

I was stunned, but not as stunned as I was by what she did instead. She focused all of the explosive strength of her sneeze on creating a two inch long and at least half-inch diameter yellow-green snot rope that hung protectively over her precious (hear Gollum). Ok, operation extract nose cap is called off. It’s definitely gotten too dangerous in there! And we’ll have to do more recon to relocate the nostril cap. (I still have no idea what actually happened to it.) But after a few more moments of careful thought I realized I would not deserve the title father if I didn’t try to do something before she…No! You didn’t!!! Oh, the humanity!!! I’m not too squeamish, but OOOOOOHHHHHH that was GROOOOOOSSSSSSSS!!!

I’m sure all of you experienced parents saw this coming, but I still think the stuff they do on Fear Factor is gross so I’m still not quite used to what babies can do without a second thought. If it weren’t for Child Protective Services we could make millions off the gross things that babies could do without puking. Anyway, yes she slurped the jiggling snot rope into her mouth leaving only a faint trail of snot from her nose to her mouth like the rat’s tail still hanging out of a snake’s mouth. She looked pretty indifferent about the whole thing, but is probably proud that she has proven how much stronger her stomach is than daddy’s. Needless to say I am still queasy but it’s time to get ready for work. Hope you weren’t eating anything.

Traveling Salesman

Alexis — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 20:07:05 +0000

I’d buy a vacuum cleaner from this guy.

New Chef In Town

Alexis — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 19:31:48 +0000

Tim announced last week that he’d like to start cooking more. He started off with this delectable feast:

Menu: Peppercorn Brandy Steak

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Green Beans

& Pear Arugula Salad

Dessert: Angel Food Cake with Strawberries & Whipped Cream

The next night he prepared this for us:

Menu: Pan-Fried Salmon Steaks

Steamed Asparagus

Mexican-Style Cornbread

Dessert: Vodka-Infused Pineapple Rings with Angel Food Cake & Whipped Cream

It’s official, Tim can cook for us any time he wants.

Bubba the Elf

Alexis — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 11:05:25 +0000

A Parental Recommendation

Sara — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 03:46:15 +0000

To parents of infants everywhere I highly recommend that you practice regular after-hours impressions of your precious babes. There is nothing more therapeutic than either watching your co-parent (in my case it’s Alexis lately though Tim and I did it a lot when Calvin was first born) impersonate your babies or attempting it yourself. Just now, Alexis did some sideways scampering along the couch, grabbed a book and started eating it, then made a beeline toward the electrical outlet on all fours (two hands, one knee and one foot). Then she sat up, and spun herself in a circle by kicking her feet against the floor. I’m not sure I’m explaining it right but that was a perfect Calvin. And then she topped it off with a Miette couch pull. We’ve got to get this on film and post it. It’s too good not to share with the world.

Crock Potting!

Alexis — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 21:04:09 +0000

I wrote this last week and am re-posting it here on the family blog for all of you to enjoy.

Crock Potting Expert (Conclusive Evidence That My Life Is Exceptionally Boring)

Sara and I have been splitting cooking duties for a while now. We each take 2 or 3 nights per week, and we’re able to eat at home almost always while only doing 1/2 the work! This has been one of the best benefits of our house-sharing living situation so far.

Before we moved in here, I hardly ever did any cooking at all. I wasn’t inspired or confident, and it just seemed like too much effort to spend 2 hours preparing dinner for just the two of us, when half the time it didn’t turn out tasting very good. But so much has changed! I started out slow, with 1 or 2 nights per week, and gradually gained more skill and knowledge as I practiced.

I wouldn’t exactly say I get excited about cooking now, but I definitely don’t dread it anymore. Some days I do put in 1.5-2 hours, but most of the time I can get dinner done much more quickly – mainly by being more familiar with the steps involved in certain recipes.

My favorite time-saving tool by far is the crock pot. This may sound just incredibly lame, but these things excite me now. Using the crock pot doesn’t mean stew every night, by any means. It’s just so nice to be able to spend only 20 minutes in the morning chopping and assembling ingredients, and having the main portion of dinner prep all finished. It’s great to have only a few small things left to do around dinner time when I’m more tired and Miette is crankier.

Plus, it really frees up my afternoons for spot-cleaning spit-up, reading blogs, and occasionally showering or cleaning the toilet. Huzzah!

-Alexis

The Aerobicist

Sara — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 21:40:29 +0000

Alexis and I like to submit ourselves to public humiliation on Saturday mornings by attending a Turbo Kickboxing (TKB) class at the gym. It is taught by a sprightly little firecracker and attended, along with us and 50 others, by a leprechaun. He has, well, had, wild curly red hair, is short and stocky in stature, is always slightly off beat and is extremely exaggerated in his movements, adding a couple extra punches to the end of a clip. So, we thought we’d seen it all. Until…The Aerobicist.

Sans Alexis, I (Sara), attended a step aerobics class. I’ve done a few now and The Aerobicist is almost always there (except for the once I brought Alexis to see him): step, step ‘n sculpt and multi step. He’s there. Long, dark, hair on both head and legs. On his head, it’s very slick and shiny, pulled back into a pony tail. Grey sneaks, white socks pulled part way up, cotton shorts and a black T shirt tucked in to them. He has the D ‘n D, World of Warcraft look about him. You know what I’m talking about. And, he’s like, 40, at least. Still, I wouldn’t have noticed him at first, there’s lots of weird local yokels at this gym. But then he started stepin’.

This guy is good, I mean, real good. I mean, when the instructor leaves something to be desired, I try to follow him. And I can’t. He’s too good. He adds Arsino Hall air punches as he flies back and forth. He’ll do a backward turn with a hop, one leg behind him, while the rest of us are doing a simple side step. He jumps, he twists, he straddles, he embellishes, he dominates. He’s The Aerobcist…

Quote of the Month

Sara — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:02:54 +0000

Jesse is sprawled out on the kitchen counter, face planted. “I’m so tired. The wind went out of my sails.”

“The babies are in bed,” Sara explains, laughing.

Alexis, hands flailing for emphasis, adds, “Yes, after our manic- ‘I’m a parent! I must stay conscious!’”

Behold: The Mighty Daikon

Alexis — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:51:01 +0000

Taste profile- Strongly resembles the texture and taste of a radish with heavy mushroomic overtones.